Post by nonexistent on Feb 21, 2007 23:15:47 GMT -5
VG Survivor: Prologue
Written by (In Aphabetical Order): Virdrag, Farmboy
Farmboy: Hello, and welcome to ARN’s new hit, VG SURVIVOR!!!
*Disclaimer* ARN is not responsible for any injuries, maiming, violence , maiming, sickness, maiming, disease, maiming, or death caused to the contestants during participation on this show. ARN’s V.G. Survivor is in no way close or related to Fox’s hit show Survivor. See? V.G. is in front of Survivor. This is not plagiarism. And if this news ever reached Fox, and we are sued, we will activate… The device… Anyway, back to your program.
*Cricket chirps*
Farmboy:… And hosting this sure fire-hit show will be me Farmboy; now known as FB due to the laziness of our writ-
*Is struck by lighning*
FB:… *Squeaks* And Vardrig…
Virdrag: *Walks in* THAT’S VIRDRAG YOU SONOVABITCH!!!
FB:.... You took pills you found on the floor again didn’t you?
Virdrag:… So what if I have?
FB:… Anyway back to the subje-
Virdrag: YOU’RE ALWAYS IGNORING ME!!!
FB: Dude, just shut up and stick to the script!
Virdrag: I am…
FB:… Damn we need to get new script writers… Anyway, enough dillydallying, we need to get on with-
Virdrag: Did you just say “Dillydallying”?
FB:… So?
Virdrag: Nothing…
FB: Anyway, back to the-
*Looks at Virdrag, who is staring at him oddly*
FB:… Why are you looking at me like that?
Virdrag: Nothing…
FB: And… What!?
Virdrag: Just saying there are probably at least a thousand other words you could have said, yet you chose to say ‘Dillydallying’ I mean who the hell says dillydallying nowadays anywa-
*Faints*
FB:… He forgot to breathe again… Anyway, back to what we’re being paid to do. The show itself will take place on the beautiful Isle de Effin Idiot, which is covered in-
*Man comes up and whispers in FB’s ear and runs of*
FB: Oops, sorry. I meant Isle de Idiotas. Hehehe, minor mistake… Anyway the island itself is covered in deserts, mountains, jungles, and even swamps!
Virdrag- Wo-*Is struck by lightning*
FB: Exactly, anyway in a second we will have an image of the island uploaded for you…
FB:…
FB:…
FB:…
FB:…
FB:…
FB:… Cut to the damn picture!
Electronic Manager: Um, sir, there has been a bit of a setback, you see, um, we cou-
FB:… I said, CUT TO THE PICTURE!!!
Electronic Manager (E.M.): *Gulps* Yes sir…
FB:… What the hell is that?
E.M.: Budget cuts sir… Budget- (Is beheaded)
FB: Anyway… Here is how the show works. Contestants from far across the land are gathering here to compete against one another in hopes of gaining the shows secret prize.
Virdrag: *Gets up* Ow my head… Is something burning?
FB: Just in time… One of us will need to go on the island to interview the contestants…
Both: Not me!!!
FB: Damn it… We’ll have to settle this the good old fashioned way then… Rock, paper, scissors.
Virdrag: All right then…
*Virdrag does rock, FB scissors*
FB: Hah! Scissors cuts rock!
Virdrag: Ah crud!
FB: Looks like you’re going…
Virdrag: Fine…
*Virdrag steps over the nearby teleporter and is transported to the island*
FB: Hehe, jackass…
~~~
*In the distance, you see a boat drifting in the ocean towards a Island.Twenty People...err… Things… Will be competing at a chance of a life time… An ultimate surprise reward.... Unbeknownst to them the next few months shall be the hardest they have faced...ever! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH-(gasp, then choking follows)ahem, anyway, time for a..... MONTA-
Virdrag: FB, I told you not to monologue!
FB-: Awww, but V-
Virdrag: NO BUTS ! NOW CUT TO THE MONTAGE!
FB: Ok.... I was getting there anyway...
*Survivor theme music plays as the contestants are interviewed*
Hartz: I WILL win that prize...and then I shall become dictator or the world! Muahahahah- Oh shit, did I just say that live? Edit it, Edit i-*Static*
Squall: ...no comment...now get that camera out of my face before I shove it up yo-*Static*
Haseo: I can't wait to get on the island! So... how much money are you paying me?
Intern: Well...um...you see… about that...
Haseo: ...Don’t tell me that it was all an elaborate rouse to get me on the show?
Intern: ...Yeah?
Haseo: Grrrrrrrr- *Static*
Arkyron: It's been my dream to be on this show!... Ever since you guys begged me to be on it this morning. *Static*
Mario: It's-a-me, Mario!
Intern: You already told us that... Five times...
Mario: ... It's -a-me, Mari-
Intern: Please, shut the fu- *Static*
Kirby: ...
Intern: ... Not going to get anything out of this guy, lets turn it- Hey, why's he looking at me like that... Why is he opening his... Oh god RUN FOR THE HI- *Static*
Sora: I hope I win... I really want to win... But I don’t want to piss anyone off.... I mean, I really don’t...But maybe I’m delving to deep into this… Do you think I’m-*Static*
Intern: So, is it Koopa or Bowser:
Bowser: Well, there had been a debate over that for years. In Japan it's Koopa, while in America they got the bright idea of 'Let's give him a dog name!' Plus you have the show which refers to me as Koopa so-
Intern:...
Bowser:... Oh **** I just broke the fourth wall didn't I?
Cloud: 1'm g0nn4 w1n th1s f****1ng th1ng4m4j1g. W41t, th1ng4m4j1g? WTF's 4 th1ng4m4j1g? Why th3 h3ll d1d 1 3v3n s4y th4t? 1'ts s0 unc00l.Y34h... 1m 4w3s0m3... s0 c00l... N0 0N3S C00L3R ,N0 0N3 1 S4Y!
Intern: … Someone get a leet dictionary in here on the doub- *Static*
Scyther: Scyther! Scyther Scyth! Scyther? SCYTHEEEEEER! *Charges screen* *Static*
*Intern is seen on the ground, tied up and gagged*
Larxene: Now dont fuss... If you hadn't gone and yelled out whe I knocked you out it wouldn't been necessary to gag you... For the moment... Anyway, lets see how far I can jam this thing up- *Static*
Tifa: ....So ...Intern ...Wanna do it?
Intern: Boy would I! *Static*
Yoshi: YOSHI! “Man that was a long trip… I’m hungry.”
Intern: Damn it, another one that only says his name... Wait, why are you wrapping your tongue around m- NO NOT AGAI- *Static*
Amy: Oh my god! DO you think I packed enough clothes for this?
Interns: You aren’t allowed any lugg-
Amy: Do you think Sonic will be there? I hope he's there, like, I hope .Do you think he'll be there? I sure hope he'll be there, I mean, I do hope he'll be th-
Intern: If I give you his number will you shut the fu- *Static*
Meta Knight: I shall win this contest with honor! It shalt bow down to me like a drunken whore! And then, like a drunken whore, I shalt use it for my own personal gain, and exploit it for all its-*Static*
Link: .......*Opens mouth, as if he's going to say something, but then closes mouth in indecision, and takes a chug out of a bottle of vodka.* *Static*
Samus: So anyway, I feel that I should have an advantage in this contest considering my past-... Stop trying to visualize me without my suit!-*Static*
Zelda: Wow, look at that island… In hindsight, coming dressed in my best clothing was a pretty stupid idea… *Static*
Sonic: Hehehe... I have this contest in the bag... With my super speed there's no way anyone can possibly even hope of beati-
*Cell Phone rings*
Sonic: Oh sorry, just a sec.
*Answers*
Sonic: Amy? Who the heck gave you my number!
Rocky:*tis motionless*
Intern:Wow,I guess when you put it that way,it does make sense.
Rocky*Still motionless*
Intern:Wow...just...wow...I mean...wow...*Static*
~~~
Virdrag: ...Wow... I have to say that that was the WORST montages I've ever seen...
FB: Yeah, well, you try putting together a montage with a budget of 25 cents, and a pack of bubblegum.
Farmboy: Anyway, the shows about to begin, and this time only 8 interns died.
Virdrag: 4 of which you killed.
FB: Details, details… Anyway, we hope you tune in on the next episode of…
VG SURVIVOR!!!
Next time on Survivor: Things heat up as the cast is split into two groups to compete against one another.
Written by (In Aphabetical Order): Virdrag, Farmboy
Farmboy: Hello, and welcome to ARN’s new hit, VG SURVIVOR!!!
*Disclaimer* ARN is not responsible for any injuries, maiming, violence , maiming, sickness, maiming, disease, maiming, or death caused to the contestants during participation on this show. ARN’s V.G. Survivor is in no way close or related to Fox’s hit show Survivor. See? V.G. is in front of Survivor. This is not plagiarism. And if this news ever reached Fox, and we are sued, we will activate… The device… Anyway, back to your program.
*Cricket chirps*
Farmboy:… And hosting this sure fire-hit show will be me Farmboy; now known as FB due to the laziness of our writ-
*Is struck by lighning*
FB:… *Squeaks* And Vardrig…
Virdrag: *Walks in* THAT’S VIRDRAG YOU SONOVABITCH!!!
FB:.... You took pills you found on the floor again didn’t you?
Virdrag:… So what if I have?
FB:… Anyway back to the subje-
Virdrag: YOU’RE ALWAYS IGNORING ME!!!
FB: Dude, just shut up and stick to the script!
Virdrag: I am…
FB:… Damn we need to get new script writers… Anyway, enough dillydallying, we need to get on with-
Virdrag: Did you just say “Dillydallying”?
FB:… So?
Virdrag: Nothing…
FB: Anyway, back to the-
*Looks at Virdrag, who is staring at him oddly*
FB:… Why are you looking at me like that?
Virdrag: Nothing…
FB: And… What!?
Virdrag: Just saying there are probably at least a thousand other words you could have said, yet you chose to say ‘Dillydallying’ I mean who the hell says dillydallying nowadays anywa-
*Faints*
FB:… He forgot to breathe again… Anyway, back to what we’re being paid to do. The show itself will take place on the beautiful Isle de Effin Idiot, which is covered in-
*Man comes up and whispers in FB’s ear and runs of*
FB: Oops, sorry. I meant Isle de Idiotas. Hehehe, minor mistake… Anyway the island itself is covered in deserts, mountains, jungles, and even swamps!
Virdrag- Wo-*Is struck by lightning*
FB: Exactly, anyway in a second we will have an image of the island uploaded for you…
FB:…
FB:…
FB:…
FB:…
FB:…
FB:… Cut to the damn picture!
Electronic Manager: Um, sir, there has been a bit of a setback, you see, um, we cou-
FB:… I said, CUT TO THE PICTURE!!!
Electronic Manager (E.M.): *Gulps* Yes sir…
FB:… What the hell is that?
E.M.: Budget cuts sir… Budget- (Is beheaded)
FB: Anyway… Here is how the show works. Contestants from far across the land are gathering here to compete against one another in hopes of gaining the shows secret prize.
Virdrag: *Gets up* Ow my head… Is something burning?
FB: Just in time… One of us will need to go on the island to interview the contestants…
Both: Not me!!!
FB: Damn it… We’ll have to settle this the good old fashioned way then… Rock, paper, scissors.
Virdrag: All right then…
*Virdrag does rock, FB scissors*
FB: Hah! Scissors cuts rock!
Virdrag: Ah crud!
FB: Looks like you’re going…
Virdrag: Fine…
*Virdrag steps over the nearby teleporter and is transported to the island*
FB: Hehe, jackass…
~~~
*In the distance, you see a boat drifting in the ocean towards a Island.Twenty People...err… Things… Will be competing at a chance of a life time… An ultimate surprise reward.... Unbeknownst to them the next few months shall be the hardest they have faced...ever! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH-(gasp, then choking follows)ahem, anyway, time for a..... MONTA-
Virdrag: FB, I told you not to monologue!
FB-: Awww, but V-
Virdrag: NO BUTS ! NOW CUT TO THE MONTAGE!
FB: Ok.... I was getting there anyway...
*Survivor theme music plays as the contestants are interviewed*
Hartz: I WILL win that prize...and then I shall become dictator or the world! Muahahahah- Oh shit, did I just say that live? Edit it, Edit i-*Static*
Squall: ...no comment...now get that camera out of my face before I shove it up yo-*Static*
Haseo: I can't wait to get on the island! So... how much money are you paying me?
Intern: Well...um...you see… about that...
Haseo: ...Don’t tell me that it was all an elaborate rouse to get me on the show?
Intern: ...Yeah?
Haseo: Grrrrrrrr- *Static*
Arkyron: It's been my dream to be on this show!... Ever since you guys begged me to be on it this morning. *Static*
Mario: It's-a-me, Mario!
Intern: You already told us that... Five times...
Mario: ... It's -a-me, Mari-
Intern: Please, shut the fu- *Static*
Kirby: ...
Intern: ... Not going to get anything out of this guy, lets turn it- Hey, why's he looking at me like that... Why is he opening his... Oh god RUN FOR THE HI- *Static*
Sora: I hope I win... I really want to win... But I don’t want to piss anyone off.... I mean, I really don’t...But maybe I’m delving to deep into this… Do you think I’m-*Static*
Intern: So, is it Koopa or Bowser:
Bowser: Well, there had been a debate over that for years. In Japan it's Koopa, while in America they got the bright idea of 'Let's give him a dog name!' Plus you have the show which refers to me as Koopa so-
Intern:...
Bowser:... Oh **** I just broke the fourth wall didn't I?
Cloud: 1'm g0nn4 w1n th1s f****1ng th1ng4m4j1g. W41t, th1ng4m4j1g? WTF's 4 th1ng4m4j1g? Why th3 h3ll d1d 1 3v3n s4y th4t? 1'ts s0 unc00l.Y34h... 1m 4w3s0m3... s0 c00l... N0 0N3S C00L3R ,N0 0N3 1 S4Y!
Intern: … Someone get a leet dictionary in here on the doub- *Static*
Scyther: Scyther! Scyther Scyth! Scyther? SCYTHEEEEEER! *Charges screen* *Static*
*Intern is seen on the ground, tied up and gagged*
Larxene: Now dont fuss... If you hadn't gone and yelled out whe I knocked you out it wouldn't been necessary to gag you... For the moment... Anyway, lets see how far I can jam this thing up- *Static*
Tifa: ....So ...Intern ...Wanna do it?
Intern: Boy would I! *Static*
Yoshi: YOSHI! “Man that was a long trip… I’m hungry.”
Intern: Damn it, another one that only says his name... Wait, why are you wrapping your tongue around m- NO NOT AGAI- *Static*
Amy: Oh my god! DO you think I packed enough clothes for this?
Interns: You aren’t allowed any lugg-
Amy: Do you think Sonic will be there? I hope he's there, like, I hope .Do you think he'll be there? I sure hope he'll be there, I mean, I do hope he'll be th-
Intern: If I give you his number will you shut the fu- *Static*
Meta Knight: I shall win this contest with honor! It shalt bow down to me like a drunken whore! And then, like a drunken whore, I shalt use it for my own personal gain, and exploit it for all its-*Static*
Link: .......*Opens mouth, as if he's going to say something, but then closes mouth in indecision, and takes a chug out of a bottle of vodka.* *Static*
Samus: So anyway, I feel that I should have an advantage in this contest considering my past-... Stop trying to visualize me without my suit!-*Static*
Zelda: Wow, look at that island… In hindsight, coming dressed in my best clothing was a pretty stupid idea… *Static*
Sonic: Hehehe... I have this contest in the bag... With my super speed there's no way anyone can possibly even hope of beati-
*Cell Phone rings*
Sonic: Oh sorry, just a sec.
*Answers*
Sonic: Amy? Who the heck gave you my number!
Rocky:*tis motionless*
Intern:Wow,I guess when you put it that way,it does make sense.
Rocky*Still motionless*
Intern:Wow...just...wow...I mean...wow...*Static*
~~~
Virdrag: ...Wow... I have to say that that was the WORST montages I've ever seen...
FB: Yeah, well, you try putting together a montage with a budget of 25 cents, and a pack of bubblegum.
Farmboy: Anyway, the shows about to begin, and this time only 8 interns died.
Virdrag: 4 of which you killed.
FB: Details, details… Anyway, we hope you tune in on the next episode of…
VG SURVIVOR!!!
Next time on Survivor: Things heat up as the cast is split into two groups to compete against one another.
